The Season of Slowing Down: Why I’m Choosing to Hibernate This Winter

Autumn has a gentle quality that I hadn't recognized as necessary until life made me pause.

I know I've been away for a little while; the past month carried me into a season of urgency: deadlines, planning, events, expectations. Work needed me, and I showed up fully, the way I always do. When I commit myself to something, I want to give it my all. I wanted everything to run smoothly. I wanted to prove that I could do it. I wanted to be enough.

However, amidst all that effort, I neglected to listen to my body.

The stress began building up in my chest and upper back. At first, I shrugged it off with a "Just keep going" attitude. But as time passed, it grew stronger. I finally noticed I was curling forward and holding myself, trying to hold everything together.

Once the event concluded and the applause subsided, I headed directly to urgent care to check on my condition.

And physically, I was.

But emotionally?

I was dealing with a silent anxiety attack.

It wasn't loud or dramatic, but a whisper my body had tried to tell me long before I slowed down enough to hear it.

It spoke: Rest.

It said: You are exhausted.

It acknowledged: You have been trying to outrun fear. My fear of not being enough, of financial insecurity, of not reaching your dreams, and of disappointing yourself.

I needed to pause, breathe, and reflect on my life, not with a sense of urgency, but with compassion.

I recognized that I've been moving nonstop for months, always working, planning, hoping, and trying.

But now the seasons are changing, and I am changing too.

Fall is the season of letting go. Winter is the season for hibernation.

And I can feel my spirit drifting into a calmer pace.

My plans have shifted. Opportunities I expected are no longer there. I imagined life moving faster than it is. And yes, it hurts. It's frustrating. Sometimes, it feels like a loss.

But it's also an invitation.

To retreat.

To breathe.

To rebuild.

To soften.

To care for myself in ways I have neglected.

So, this winter, I am choosing to hibernate.

I will be spending more time indoors: resting, journaling, and saving money. I'll focus on tending to my emotional and mental well-being.

Listening to my body when it speaks and not after it breaks.

Because I want to begin the new year with clarity, presence, and gentle strength, not burnout.

I remind myself that rest isn't losing; it's preparing.

When spring arrives, I will bloom once more. I will be prepared to return gently, courageously, with heart, to the dreams that await me.

For now, I am slowing down.

I am taking care of myself. I am choosing peace.

This is my winter hibernation. A season for nurturing the parts of me that have been tired for far too long.

Always dreaming,

Deja 🤍